Octeaber: Little Tea Shop of Horrors – ‘Like most of my lovers, it was over too quickly’

Reminiscent of my sexual performance, this will be short and sweet (although, Miss PG Puss Puss has yet to complain). Today was the much an-tea-cipated Little Tea Shop of Horrors event at Mugen Tea House, where I forcibly rammed 31 gorgeous teas down the gullets of nearly 31 willing, chari-tea-ble victims. From Senchas to Gen Maichas, Very Berry to Mr Tea’s Choc Orange, the tea selection was SO good that even The Old ‘I would rather lick my own sloppy diarrhoea than drink tea’ Witch Mother BOUGHT SOME. Of her own accord. With her own money-there is pho-tea-graphic evidence. Mission accomplished-more proud of this brew conversion than passing my driving test, getting a first in my degree and working out how to programme my boiler in the dark and seriously inebriated, rolled into one.

Wish I'd worn cleaner shoes...dirty shod
Wish I’d worn cleaner shoes…dirty shod

We were also treated to the explosively #macarongasmic macarons from Patisserie Rose (AKA the lovely Laura and debonair Dan) in White Choc and Peppermint, and Chai latte. These little segments of heaven were so light, flavourful and silky smooth that I was tempted to find alternative orefices to my mouth to erotically place them in. Pure sex in pastel colours. YUMMY FOR MY TUMMY!

Patisserie Rose Macarons...in which orephis would they best be enjoyed?
Patisserie Rose Macarons…in which orefice would they best be enjoyed?

Anyway, I don’t want to give away too much – full write up to come tomorrow – but it will be filthy, dirty and more than a tad saucy, with some steamy one liner reviews that made my mouth-like-navvy eyes water. You have been warned. However, I will end with soppy salutations and thoroughly thought out thank yous to everyone who came down and supported today, Sarah and Dave at Mugen for hosting us so fantastically and Dean the Photographer for capturing the event and putting up with me asking him to take close ups of my mucky mugs. I am humbled, overwhelmed and massively grateful for people’s heartfelt support, let alone not being poked with sticks for my repeated demands for money, free stuff and increasingly risqué mentions of Christina Hendricks’ body parts. Sheffield really is super, and I am honoured to be held close to its ever welcoming and beau-tea-ful bosom.

Sex-tea, chari-tea-ble bitches. Plus some Pam Anderson wannabe on the floor.
Sex-tea, chari-tea-ble bitches. Plus some Pam Anderson wannabe on the floor.

REMEMBER WHY WE ARE DOING THIS…

CONTINUE TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT BY DONATING ONLINE AT THE JUSTGIVING PAGE, ATTENDING SOME OF THE MUGEN TEA HOUSE FUNDRAISING TEA TASTING EVENINGS, AND GET INVOLVED WITH THE TWITTER HYPE!

Check back tomorrow for the next Octeaber blogging challenge instalment!

 

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